another day, with grace

I guess that's it...
when the rib cracks
the lungs and heart aren't too far behind
and the view doesn't need to be the hardest or the night the darkest
to spin an entire world around
and tears fill the eyes
it's in breaking and breaking down
we find the wings to create beautiful things
and the greatest understand
that the worst rooms in town are the source
of all the best and most destructive pictures and words crafted by man
by pen and by hand
and it all builds
day on day
to one of those sparkling
magnetic evenings when
in waves the starlight fills
through eyes
arms
fingers
to paper
to new eyes
lungs
and hearts

the great unwashed

the people who go all the way crazy
who kick and scream and kill and maim
the terrible few who fall so far
from basic levels of decency
that they lose even the core of humanity
and exit society
are probably not so unlike you and me
but a little more scratched
a little more dogworn
and beaten

they eat and sleep and work and pray
like you or me
they probably even had dreams
once

but the knocks kept them down
the sheer weight of it all
a cross to bear
that somehow shifted a potentially great
and important member of this western democracy
into a sadistically wrong
and tragically destructive note in history

a smile or two
or a kind word to a stranger
every now and then
might make that little bit of difference
to the otherwise bleak and terrifying life
of a potentially great
and important member of this western democracy
so close to the edge
you will never know

or maybe it's far
too late for all that
now

Your life is more important

another poor soul
leapt from a tall lump of concrete
not far from here
and that's just how it is in this town
these days
the frustration and rage
is building audibly
but with no outlet
our destruction is fired inwardly
and too many are being lost
to the cowardly
decisions
made by the unaffected
in The City
and it's enough to make a man
consider the point of his very being
to the point of
considering
a ledge somewhere
or a gamble with trains
pills
a hundred steps
or stairs
to look down
on a gamble that will never pay
but
it's sometimes
easier
to
jump

holding on

the sun brings a new electricity to my feet
as the wind forgets to push against me
and I pretend to run across the street
or at least jog when you can see
and we race to meet at the pier
in our own passionate way
on this brightest of days
I hit top speed and forget the silly plays
the terrible mistakes
when things fall right
and into place
with eminent style and grace
I rarely stand tall
but when there
I stand tallest amongst them all

I'll take the road

it's too early to go crazy just yet
humanity is still young
keep your chin up kid
we have time to learn and grow and discover
and ulitmately survive
he said
it's just a shame we won't be here to see it
because it's no joke
the way life can give and take away
see just this morning
I found myself staring at screens
and pages
and pages
and pages of nothing
and I got to thinking that it's all well and good
for the last man out
who gets to stand either triumphant
at an innings well played as the universe coughs it's last
or even to stand defeated before
the skys tear themselves apart
but you and me
we are history forgotten
not even a footnote
there's a room
somewhere
with an hourglass
in my name
and yours
as well

dreamy season for drifters

this man in dark trousers with a deep frown keeps staring me down
he follows me on walks through corridors and hallways
always talking
always shouting
where were you when the legs came off
and we were writhing around on the carpet
spitting up feathers
tearing up fluff?

so I took a swim on the living room floor
because I just couldn't stand to watch the pouring rain anymore
in the middle of summer
besides my mouth was so dry
I ate the last apple and sighed
which made the puddles outside
seem like an oasis

the lights flicker almost constantly
and the windows rustle like leaves
like they know we build the electricity from trees
and dead animals

and they say we're running out sooner rather than later
but the cars keep on eating
and the streets keep on eating
and everything is fed
as it should be
but the things we build never feel as right
as real
as perfect
as anything that nature built in the first place
with no design
but an impossibly beautiful
precision
and
sense of time

that northern city

headingley mount saw my pain and frustration
my love, anger, joy and despair
at times it brought out the best in me
more often the worst

a summer spent starving
countless evenings spent laughing
and a winter spent sleeping
the days buzz and shimmer or slide and fade
but they all end the same

leeds lives in my memories
like the shadow of something bright and shining
opportunities missed
a life fully lived
sublime, ridiculous and on fire

a poem for ruth flowers

I was watching a video of this 69 year old dj
and it made me so happy I cried a little

I hope I'm still rocking at 69
though I expect I shall have found the porch by then
and the wodehouse novels
the slow tottering sleightness of it all
weighing down on my ever slowing heart

but as long as I live in a world
where I know she can exist
I can smile at my own misfortune
and tip my hat to every sunrise
from now until then
and so on
and so forth

a farewell to strings

it made an awesome racket as I dashed it on the floor
and threw the pieces into the stairwell

the guitar sighed and just generally fell
with heaviness and sadness as well

you wait all your life for a break to come
and then none come at once
so you just bumble along
waiting and waiting and waiting

all the writers are packed away
and the movers and shakers too
and every season is the same
when you long for the Dharma Bums
instead of the Portsmouth Blues

the hot empty roads of America
leaving an impression on any young heart

the day I finally realised it was so dead
and so gone

I smashed everything apart

fire and brimstone

the riots of London were a sham
at best thuggery
at worst a call for clarity and honesty
a breath thrown with intensity and anger
to the back of our necks

the kids needed new kicks and new tvs
so hit the mall with a ferocity and sick calmness
as the streets ran thick with darkness
as police beat on plastic shields to signify
under august skys a little madness came to everybody