As Per My Email

Every day I wake up to the sound of the water

The same soft murmuring, a gurgling, the occasional whisper

The sun blinding, always, not a cloud in the sky

The platform comes apart in my hands like clockwork

Piece by piece by piece

My shelter moves from something

To a pile of something

I wonder if the shelter is still a shelter when it’s not a shelter

Then I sigh and move the whole thing up another yard

Occasionally I get a splinter or the callouses on my hands start to bleed

And I remember a time when I saw other faces

Laughter and food and smoke and belonging

Now there is only the ocean and the wooden planks

And the hill

You might wonder why I move my hut a yard every day

Why I don’t throw myself to the depths below

Or why I don’t scale the mountain on foot

The truth is that I don’t remember why this started or how I got here in the first place

But the roof keeps my skin from the sun

And the ocean provides food for my belly

I have no reason to believe there is anything to find further up the slope

But the lapping of the waves

As day follows night as day follows night as day follows night

Gives me purpose

When I finally rebuild my humble home

I collapse into a deep sleep

And it is the same dream every time

I dream of reaching the summit and I look around and see

Hills upon hills

Each with another version of me

I wake smiling

Then I hear the water